Sunday, September 13, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Wow this could have been better...
1:: IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OK?” YOU SAY?
Thumbelina Nightmare of You
2:: WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
The Fix Is In OK Go
3:: WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Torn Inside Acceptance
4:: HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Well That Was Easy Franz Ferdinand
5:: WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Beautiful Eisley
6:: WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Penitentiary Bound Bishop Allen
7:: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
The Town That You Live In Sherwood (Really?)
8:: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Anywhere With You Saves the Day
9:: WHAT IS 2+2?
If All Else Fails Matchbook Romance
10:: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
How I Miss You Foo Fighters
11:: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sweet Religion Imogen Heap
12:: WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
All Possibilities Badly Drawn Boy
13:: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Not Half Right Heatmiser
14:: WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Until Her Heart Stops Hawthorne Heights (oh geez.)
15:: WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Embers to Ashes Aphasia
16:: WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
If You Could Hie To Kolob Mo-Tab (HAHAHAHA, obviously I'm never getting married.)
17:: WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
This Was Never Name Taken
18:: WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
The Sun Always Shines on T.V. A-Ha
19:: WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
What To Do OK-Go
20:: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Missing You Imogen Heap
I know my ABC's
A - Age: 21
B - Bed size: Twin
C - Chore you hate: Vacuuming or sweeping
D - Dad's Name: Robert
E - Essential start your day item: WATER
F - Favorite actors: George Clooney
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5' 5 1/2"
I - Instruments you play(ed): Piano, saxophone, guitar
J - Job title: Unemployed student haha lame
K - Kid(s): Never :)
L – Living arrangements: With my apartment-mate Ashley
M - Mom's name: Marlena
N - Nickname: Jessica Messica, Jessica Lou Lou Belle, Jessisica Mae, Jess
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I don't think so...
P - Pet Peeve(s): Do NOT put wet towels on the floor after you get out of the shower!!!
Q - Quotes you like: "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."
R - Right or left handed : Right
S - Siblings: 3, Theren, Leighton, Gracelynn
T - Time you wake up: Depends on what I have to do that day. And currently I'm jobless.
U - Unknown fact about you: I own an Ab Lounger. hahah
V - Vegetable(s) you dislike: Onion.
W - Ways you run late: Waiting on other people.
X - X-rays you've had: Dental, spinal, I think that's it.
Y - Yummy food you make: ALFREDO! And sausage pinwheels.
Z - Zodiac: Gemini
B - Bed size: Twin
C - Chore you hate: Vacuuming or sweeping
D - Dad's Name: Robert
E - Essential start your day item: WATER
F - Favorite actors: George Clooney
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5' 5 1/2"
I - Instruments you play(ed): Piano, saxophone, guitar
J - Job title: Unemployed student haha lame
K - Kid(s): Never :)
L – Living arrangements: With my apartment-mate Ashley
M - Mom's name: Marlena
N - Nickname: Jessica Messica, Jessica Lou Lou Belle, Jessisica Mae, Jess
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: I don't think so...
P - Pet Peeve(s): Do NOT put wet towels on the floor after you get out of the shower!!!
Q - Quotes you like: "As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."
R - Right or left handed : Right
S - Siblings: 3, Theren, Leighton, Gracelynn
T - Time you wake up: Depends on what I have to do that day. And currently I'm jobless.
U - Unknown fact about you: I own an Ab Lounger. hahah
V - Vegetable(s) you dislike: Onion.
W - Ways you run late: Waiting on other people.
X - X-rays you've had: Dental, spinal, I think that's it.
Y - Yummy food you make: ALFREDO! And sausage pinwheels.
Z - Zodiac: Gemini
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
"As if you could kill time without injuring eternity."*
Its been a while.
I just got back from a triple feature with Ashley. We saw Valkyrie, Bedtime Stories, and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which might I mention was the saddest movie I have seen in a long time.
If you aren't familiar with Benjamin Button, it is in short a story of a man who is born a small baby with an old man's face, who becomes younger as the years pass, and dies as a small baby with a baby's face.
Throughout all of this, Benjamin loves a girl/woman named Daisy. When they both "catch up to each other" around 45 years old, the movie depicts the most perfect and beautiful relationship that they share. They don't fight. They love each other. They only want more of each other. They only want the best for each other.
I want this. I know it is a movie, I understand that the drama of everyday life was left out of the story. But is it wrong to hope for a relationship like this? Is it possible?
Does the "right" couple behave the "right" way in all situations? Under stress, commotion, sickness, loss? How would 45 year old Benjamin and Daisy react to these situations?
I realize this is a strange example seeing as Benjamin is living his life backwards. But separating the actual emotions they are feeling at that perfect time in their relationship from the actual characters, and comparing the emotions to my own relationships, I have to wonder if I am as passionate as they are. I wonder if my reactions to common stressful situations would be as thoughtful as either of theirs.
---------------------------
After considering this, my thoughts took on a "carpe diem" tone and I began to think about what I'm doing in my life that makes me proud. If I think about life as being "but a glimpse," do these stressful situations even matter anymore? What sense does it make to argue? On that same token, what sense does it make to be with people who bring you down? What would I do if I lived my life according to what makes me completely happy? Sometimes I wonder.
*Quote courtesy of Henry David Thoreau (of course).
I just got back from a triple feature with Ashley. We saw Valkyrie, Bedtime Stories, and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which might I mention was the saddest movie I have seen in a long time.
If you aren't familiar with Benjamin Button, it is in short a story of a man who is born a small baby with an old man's face, who becomes younger as the years pass, and dies as a small baby with a baby's face.
Throughout all of this, Benjamin loves a girl/woman named Daisy. When they both "catch up to each other" around 45 years old, the movie depicts the most perfect and beautiful relationship that they share. They don't fight. They love each other. They only want more of each other. They only want the best for each other.
I want this. I know it is a movie, I understand that the drama of everyday life was left out of the story. But is it wrong to hope for a relationship like this? Is it possible?
Does the "right" couple behave the "right" way in all situations? Under stress, commotion, sickness, loss? How would 45 year old Benjamin and Daisy react to these situations?
I realize this is a strange example seeing as Benjamin is living his life backwards. But separating the actual emotions they are feeling at that perfect time in their relationship from the actual characters, and comparing the emotions to my own relationships, I have to wonder if I am as passionate as they are. I wonder if my reactions to common stressful situations would be as thoughtful as either of theirs.
---------------------------
After considering this, my thoughts took on a "carpe diem" tone and I began to think about what I'm doing in my life that makes me proud. If I think about life as being "but a glimpse," do these stressful situations even matter anymore? What sense does it make to argue? On that same token, what sense does it make to be with people who bring you down? What would I do if I lived my life according to what makes me completely happy? Sometimes I wonder.
*Quote courtesy of Henry David Thoreau (of course).
Friday, September 12, 2008
Distractions keep the world spinning.
I need a new distraction. I loved my collections job and now that's
gone. It was the best way to keep from hating life. But even then I
guess I hated life.
Becca and I used to paint. But now she's gone and its hard to paint
without her.
All of my friends are married or getting married. I ruined some of the
best friendships by making out with my guy friends. And some of my old
best friends just don't feel the same about me anymore.
What am I supposed to turn to? I've never felt comfort from praying. I
have felt good about being positive but its so hard to do that when it
seems so phony. Why does my brain have to be so difficult?
I found out that if I switch my schedule to 1:30 to 10, I will finish
school in about 2 months if I always go and basically turn my life
over to hair and work my butt off.
But even then, what am I supposed to do afterward? I'm in provo. All
of my things are in provo. I don't have a car in provo. How do I get
anywhere? My credit is ruined, I don't have a job. Pity party, I know,
but I'm trying to be objective here. What can I possibly do? I want to
move. I want to get the hell out of this city and this state. I'm sick
of all of my best friends disappearing. But the only place in the
world that I still have normal friends is south Carolina, and I came
out here to get away from my life there. I can't go back to that, can
I?
I could find opportunities elsewhere, explore other places, meet new
people, which in theory sounds great. But I don't like meeting new
people because I'm awkward and don't know what to say. And I'm sorry
but it sounds awful for me to move somewhere based on a guy. What to
do.
gone. It was the best way to keep from hating life. But even then I
guess I hated life.
Becca and I used to paint. But now she's gone and its hard to paint
without her.
All of my friends are married or getting married. I ruined some of the
best friendships by making out with my guy friends. And some of my old
best friends just don't feel the same about me anymore.
What am I supposed to turn to? I've never felt comfort from praying. I
have felt good about being positive but its so hard to do that when it
seems so phony. Why does my brain have to be so difficult?
I found out that if I switch my schedule to 1:30 to 10, I will finish
school in about 2 months if I always go and basically turn my life
over to hair and work my butt off.
But even then, what am I supposed to do afterward? I'm in provo. All
of my things are in provo. I don't have a car in provo. How do I get
anywhere? My credit is ruined, I don't have a job. Pity party, I know,
but I'm trying to be objective here. What can I possibly do? I want to
move. I want to get the hell out of this city and this state. I'm sick
of all of my best friends disappearing. But the only place in the
world that I still have normal friends is south Carolina, and I came
out here to get away from my life there. I can't go back to that, can
I?
I could find opportunities elsewhere, explore other places, meet new
people, which in theory sounds great. But I don't like meeting new
people because I'm awkward and don't know what to say. And I'm sorry
but it sounds awful for me to move somewhere based on a guy. What to
do.
--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Airport people watching.
I am a self-admitted people watcher. I LOVE trying to figure people out based on appearance and I think I have a pretty good grasp on it. So I'm constantly looking at people, and airports are the best place to do it, I think.
In airports, you get a taste of all different people from all over the world. And I have airport people watching down to a science. You look once at their face every 7.5 minutes unless they're far away and won't ever notice if you dare to take a second glance. I like looking at the far away people most because I get the full concept.
I see moms that are mid-40s and trying to compensate, as if all-stars and an asymmetrical haircut somehow take the years off. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for people wearing what they want, but sometimes you can just tell that its not really them.
I love trying to figure out which one is the air marshall. Obviously he's going to be alone, probably somewhere between 30 and mid 50s, and quietly and nonchalantly observant. Right now, I really can't figure it out. All the guys here that are traveling alone fit pretty well into the businessman, typing away on laptops (or probably just playing WOW since let's be honest, what can you REALLY accomplish on a computer with no internet access? DATA? Paperwork? Nah. WOW? Maybe I'm on to something... Just think about it.) or coffee-drinking husband going home from some family-related visit to Utah.
I see high school wrestlers, so excited about either the trip to come, or going home, or maybe its just the ridiculous levels of energy that some teenagers, especially those on sports teams, seem to exude.
There's a kid about 18 years old waiting to board, so anxious to do whatever he's going to do. He's grinning like a pig cause I just looked over. He has a BIG silver ring on each finger of his left hand, and some blue, white, and yellow Nike high tops that he just bought with his hard earned boy-band paycut. His hair is highlighted and spiked with such perfection that a cosmetology student such as myself is disgusted with the amount of time spent on such a tragic hairstyle. I used "such" three times in that last sentence which means I'm losing my touch so I'm going to go read now. (oh, and the new kid on the block was just waiting for his mother :])
In airports, you get a taste of all different people from all over the world. And I have airport people watching down to a science. You look once at their face every 7.5 minutes unless they're far away and won't ever notice if you dare to take a second glance. I like looking at the far away people most because I get the full concept.
I see moms that are mid-40s and trying to compensate, as if all-stars and an asymmetrical haircut somehow take the years off. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for people wearing what they want, but sometimes you can just tell that its not really them.
I love trying to figure out which one is the air marshall. Obviously he's going to be alone, probably somewhere between 30 and mid 50s, and quietly and nonchalantly observant. Right now, I really can't figure it out. All the guys here that are traveling alone fit pretty well into the businessman, typing away on laptops (or probably just playing WOW since let's be honest, what can you REALLY accomplish on a computer with no internet access? DATA? Paperwork? Nah. WOW? Maybe I'm on to something... Just think about it.) or coffee-drinking husband going home from some family-related visit to Utah.
I see high school wrestlers, so excited about either the trip to come, or going home, or maybe its just the ridiculous levels of energy that some teenagers, especially those on sports teams, seem to exude.
There's a kid about 18 years old waiting to board, so anxious to do whatever he's going to do. He's grinning like a pig cause I just looked over. He has a BIG silver ring on each finger of his left hand, and some blue, white, and yellow Nike high tops that he just bought with his hard earned boy-band paycut. His hair is highlighted and spiked with such perfection that a cosmetology student such as myself is disgusted with the amount of time spent on such a tragic hairstyle. I used "such" three times in that last sentence which means I'm losing my touch so I'm going to go read now. (oh, and the new kid on the block was just waiting for his mother :])
See yall in Texas.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
21 and invincible...
So I'm turning twenty-one soon. I don't really understand the point of this birthday. Maybe the point is to make it to twenty-five so my insurance payments will go down.
I'm going to take a poll: What is the point of turning twenty-one?
1. "So you can go on a mission."
2. "Being able to drink... but if you're Mormon, I don't know."
3. "Being able to gamble."
4. "Being completely legal."
My point exactly. This is the most pointless birthday I've ever had in my entire life of birthdays. Maybe I'll get some money. Amen.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Let's just talk about...
...how I'm exhausted because I only got 2 and a half hours of sleep last night. Frick. In celebration of my lack of cognitive reasoning, I decided to blog.
1st topic of discussion: alarm clocks. Somehow the sleeping version of myself (because she and I are, in fact, two separate entities) continues to ignore the alarm clock on my phone, despite my constant changing of the ringtones. What are my options for waking up now that nothing wakes me up?
2nd: The amount of time it takes me to get ready directly correlates to how much time I have until I'm late for work. I can literally do the same thing I do in 2 hours in 20 minutes if necessary. Apparently I work best under pressure.
3rd: This past weekend I found one of the greatest finds of my entire life at the one, the only, DESERET INDUSTRIES. Feast your eyes upon Mikasa Cambridge, the most beautiful china pattern I have ever seen in my life (see picture above right). I paid $45 for a set that I would find out later that night is really worth $547. FEAST, INDEED.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Musica
"Well there was a place we'd chase through the woods in my juvenile days.
What a typical waste of space, what a wonderful place to stay."
"The last star left in heaven
Is falling down to earth and
Do you still feel the same way?
Do you still feel the same way?"
"Go on, go on
Your cruel intentions won't
Solve your problems
Everyone's gotta get bottom
Bottomed out in the long run
And those are the times you need love."
"And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I ever had
If I hadn't blow the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone...
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place."
"Say what you want,
Say what you mean,
Question yourself, are you really what you seem?
Say who you are,
Say what you mean
Question yourself, are you really what you dream?"
"Run until that day
We can see who we are
Have the final say
We keep being who we are
As love lights the way to the last day
And no one can take it away."
"We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see
Theres a chance
That we have
And we take it!"
"God, guide and protect us
When we're wrong, please correct us
When we're wrong, correct us
And stand by me
In these high seas or in low seas
I'm gonna be your friend
You know that I'm gonna be your friend
Any so in high tide or in low tide
I'll be by your side
You know that I'll be by your side."
"I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be
Bring me a higher love."
"You're no one
I connect a little in disguise
I reflect a little in your eyes"
"Go, you move, we go, now don't go
You move, we don't, now go.
Now don't you move, we won't go, now don't go, go."
"The only plans of mine might sound to you cliché.
But I just plan to live the rest of my life."
"You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love...
How will I break the news to you?"
"Hold me now. Don't start shaking.
You keep me safe.
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age."
What a typical waste of space, what a wonderful place to stay."
"The last star left in heaven
Is falling down to earth and
Do you still feel the same way?
Do you still feel the same way?"
"Go on, go on
Your cruel intentions won't
Solve your problems
Everyone's gotta get bottom
Bottomed out in the long run
And those are the times you need love."
"And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I ever had
If I hadn't blow the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone...
The past is gone but something might be found to take its place."
"Say what you want,
Say what you mean,
Question yourself, are you really what you seem?
Say who you are,
Say what you mean
Question yourself, are you really what you dream?"
"Run until that day
We can see who we are
Have the final say
We keep being who we are
As love lights the way to the last day
And no one can take it away."
"We're all in this together
When we reach
We can fly
Know inside
We can make it
We're all in this together
Once we see
Theres a chance
That we have
And we take it!"
"God, guide and protect us
When we're wrong, please correct us
When we're wrong, correct us
And stand by me
In these high seas or in low seas
I'm gonna be your friend
You know that I'm gonna be your friend
Any so in high tide or in low tide
I'll be by your side
You know that I'll be by your side."
"I could light the night up with my soul on fire
I could make the sun shine from pure desire
Let me feel that love come over me
Let me feel how strong it could be
Bring me a higher love."
"You're no one
I connect a little in disguise
I reflect a little in your eyes"
"Go, you move, we go, now don't go
You move, we don't, now go.
Now don't you move, we won't go, now don't go, go."
"The only plans of mine might sound to you cliché.
But I just plan to live the rest of my life."
"You're the echoes of my everything,
You're the emptiness the whole world sings at night.
You're the laziness of afternoon,
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment,
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love...
How will I break the news to you?"
"Hold me now. Don't start shaking.
You keep me safe.
Don't ever think you're the only one
when times are tough in your new age."
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Its Sunday and I'm in sacrament blogging again because I hate fast and testimony meeting. Hate is a strong word, but I honestly believe that I hate testimony meeting.
The fasting I can deal with somewhat... I don't understand it fully but I can do it, usually by accident. The testimonies are the things I can't handle. Maybe its hard for.me to relate to people. "murky waters aren't good for us." what are murky waters anyway?! Who is this guy?
Now this chick is coughing into the microphone and relating August rush to her temple experiences... It reminds me of a time in my old ward when this really really awkward tall guy sniffed the snot back up his nose DIRECTLY IN THE MICROPHONE. And then commented on awkward it was. Now keep in mind that I am really trying to relate to these people. I know they're humans and they speak English and they have life issues but I just really don't understand them.
The next three girls I can't really say anything about. They're really precious and I can respect what they're saying, even though I'm not really sure what they mean.
This next girl, Brittany, talks like she is thinking about every single word she is saying, individually, before she says it. And its a really strong consideration, too. Don't begin your sentences with 'and'. Whatever I will kill you. Anyway this girl likes to enunciate and that's probably more than I can say for myself. But she needs some water and her voice is raspy and she probably has a really great testimony that I can't listen to right now and I bet she makes great brownies. I feel like people use words like "joy," "enlighten," and "spiritual pain," like they are tickets to a great public born testimony. Who am I to doubt her? She has really great shoes and she's probably really sweet and adorable, but what does she know about being enlightened?
Am I such a cynical jerk that I can't believe other peoples testimonies? That's not even my place. Argh.
Okay hold up. I have to say something. I love children's testimonies. They are the most beautiful displays of preciousness I've ever heard of. Children don't lie about themselves like adults, they are who they are and I respect them for that. They might steal someones toy if they are little brats, but they don't lie about their personality, likes and dislikes. The little kids that get up in front of a bunch of weird looking old people are the ones I just love.
Now I feel like I should also mention that the testimonies of these teenage/mid 20s idiots aren't nearly as bad as those of the mid 60s grandmothers who go on and on about God knows what. Those ones just don't even know what they're saying.
Anyway maybe ill stop. Maybe I shouldn't write questioning about peoples sincerity.
Jlh
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
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