The fasting I can deal with somewhat... I don't understand it fully but I can do it, usually by accident. The testimonies are the things I can't handle. Maybe its hard for.me to relate to people. "murky waters aren't good for us." what are murky waters anyway?! Who is this guy?
Now this chick is coughing into the microphone and relating August rush to her temple experiences... It reminds me of a time in my old ward when this really really awkward tall guy sniffed the snot back up his nose DIRECTLY IN THE MICROPHONE. And then commented on awkward it was. Now keep in mind that I am really trying to relate to these people. I know they're humans and they speak English and they have life issues but I just really don't understand them.
The next three girls I can't really say anything about. They're really precious and I can respect what they're saying, even though I'm not really sure what they mean.
This next girl, Brittany, talks like she is thinking about every single word she is saying, individually, before she says it. And its a really strong consideration, too. Don't begin your sentences with 'and'. Whatever I will kill you. Anyway this girl likes to enunciate and that's probably more than I can say for myself. But she needs some water and her voice is raspy and she probably has a really great testimony that I can't listen to right now and I bet she makes great brownies. I feel like people use words like "joy," "enlighten," and "spiritual pain," like they are tickets to a great public born testimony. Who am I to doubt her? She has really great shoes and she's probably really sweet and adorable, but what does she know about being enlightened?
Am I such a cynical jerk that I can't believe other peoples testimonies? That's not even my place. Argh.
Okay hold up. I have to say something. I love children's testimonies. They are the most beautiful displays of preciousness I've ever heard of. Children don't lie about themselves like adults, they are who they are and I respect them for that. They might steal someones toy if they are little brats, but they don't lie about their personality, likes and dislikes. The little kids that get up in front of a bunch of weird looking old people are the ones I just love.
Now I feel like I should also mention that the testimonies of these teenage/mid 20s idiots aren't nearly as bad as those of the mid 60s grandmothers who go on and on about God knows what. Those ones just don't even know what they're saying.
Anyway maybe ill stop. Maybe I shouldn't write questioning about peoples sincerity.
Jlh
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1 comment:
I love you SO much. I feel the same way in testimony meetings, though maybe not quite as cynical. Oftentimes, I find myself actually falling into the trap (oh wait, I think that's the spirit) and bearing my testimony. I hope people think I'm sincere.
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